Bet against myself.

There are two sides to every card.
One pristine and one that's charred.
I've always been more of a back than a face.
More of an eight than an ace.

Bitter.

I've got real big plans.
I'm staying up so late.
I only talk to girls,
I think that you would hate.

June.

My stomach twists into a thousand knots.
As my head runs over all the love I've sought.
The million dollar question has not been bought.
Have I set the trap that will get me caught?

Voice of the lost.

In the postmodern streets chaos, it rages.
The enlightenment's voices, they rot in their cages
While I pour my soul onto beds of blank pages
I left my heart back in the dark ages

Styx.

A sea of doubt so long and wide,
I could not traverse from side to side,
In the cold of night, I tried to kill my pride.
But the ghosts left me and just my faith had died.

Hate.

Gnash your fucking teeth.
Grind your god damn bones.
Fuck your worthless life.
I'll never sink so low.

Moses.

Water builds behind a wall
Curtains close and then they fall
My show is over, I am done.
From these seas, you can not run.

Atlanta

It rained on the day I was born.
And it has rained every single day since.
When I found out that love is a lie
The rain kind of lost it's innocence.

Reminders.

There's a burning feeling
In the tips of my fingers.
I hate that the scent of you,
Has chosen here to linger.

Vibrant.

Red, yellow and orange
Green, violet and blue
All the colors of my spectrum
Don't shine the way you do.

Wasted on you.

We both said so much
But not the words that mattered.
You have never been sorry,
That my heart always shatterd.

What are the odds?

Dragging my feet.
Breathing in deep.
Holding that breath.
Gritting my teeth.

Friction.

The soles of my shoes
Are worn so thin
That now when I walk
Cement meets my skin.

Repetition.

You asked me how many times
I could say the same thing.
I figured it out,
I'll stop when it doesn't sting.

Eternal.

I try to act
Like we are friends
You know this will
Never end.

Why do we do this?

You've got your hands
Around my neck.
For you I am
A fucking trainwreck.

Still.

I still taste blood.
I still feel cold.
I still hate you.
You are not gold.

Collapse.

13 months, a waste of breath.
I have just one lesson learned.
You and I are not alike.
You watch me bleed, I watch you burn.

The Old Me.

A well of love
That has dried out.
A chance at faith
Destroyed by doubt.

Never Ever.

Once a week a love poem.
Once a week just hate.
Once a week discomposing.
Just once is not my fate.

I am worth less than the rocks I step on.

I hate the thing that dwells
Deep within my skin.
I hate being alone with myself.
I reek of angst and sin.

Past tense pretentious.

Where is home
When nothing feels right
Where is hope
With souls dark as night

Green with envy.

Campfires and innocence
Or should I say lack thereof
Lying in my misery
I watch the stars above.

Isolation.

Stabbing out my eyes
And ripping out my hair.
I hate the taste of blood.
And the thought that no one cares.

Drown.

I've heard that in this life
You only reap what you sow.
But with anchors for dreams
I get the undertow.

Full Collapse.

We were fools to think
That we could be saved.
We searched this whole world
But in it had caved.

Disappear.

You want it All.
But you got me.
All that you want.
I can not be.

Autumn Leaves.

The leaves are turning over
As I put my ear to the ground.
I watch as summer fades to fall
And I listen for grace in the sound.

Exhausted.

I'm tired of being sorry.
I'm tired of being wrong.
I'm tired of being careless.
I'm tired of shame songs.

Trap Doors.

The base on which
I'd grounded these thoughts
Was a hole in the floor
That I had not sought.

Rot.

Nothing to show for
The years I've passed by.
Worthless and wasted
And wanting to die.

War.

Fight fire with fire.
Fight water with wine.
Fight weapons with words.
Fight your heart with mine.

Tasting Iron.

Call for high tides,
And call for sun fall
Call for community
Then call for these walls.

Your walls.

So this is it,
Back to square one.
Build, destroy, repeat.
It will never be done.

Drought.

It won't rain outside
So it rains in my head
When I'm wishing for you.
I wish I was dead.

Drift, Sink, Die.

Death is not eternal sleep
But darkness in the soul.
It's like trying to find a way out
Of this bottomless hole.

Tonight Tonight.

A night tucked away
A night not retold
With blankets I hide
With words I grow old

Illusions.

I held a flower in my palm
and its thorn in my vein.
My head spins in circles.
and my body feels not pain.

Vanity.

In a life lived on knees.
No one is standing to speak.
There is nothing to live for.
And there are no gods to seek.

Father Time.

A minute, a month, a lifetime
I wish I had said what I meant.
But time knows not regret.
I can't retrace the time I've spent.

Your melody is my company.

I hear the music that sweeps
From the speakers I own.
I thank God for these notes
And for now I'm not alone.

What it’s like to be dead.

My fingers split at the seams,
From hours of futile travail.
I'll never get back these six feet.
Buried alive and destined to fail.

Character Flaws.

I tell words with these pictures.
Not with my mouth or a pen.
I see my life as a silent film.
My actions speaking to the lens.

You always were a wishful thinker.

I never said I was coming back.
I never said I'd hold off your fears.
I never said I'd stop you from sinking.
I never said I'd always hold you dear.
So fuck you, I never promised you anything.