Never Ever.

Once a week a love poem.
Once a week just hate.
Once a week discomposing.
Just once is not my fate.

I am worth less than the rocks I step on.

I hate the thing that dwells
Deep within my skin.
I hate being alone with myself.
I reek of angst and sin.

Past tense pretentious.

Where is home
When nothing feels right
Where is hope
With souls dark as night

Green with envy.

Campfires and innocence
Or should I say lack thereof
Lying in my misery
I watch the stars above.

Isolation.

Stabbing out my eyes
And ripping out my hair.
I hate the taste of blood.
And the thought that no one cares.

Drown.

I've heard that in this life
You only reap what you sow.
But with anchors for dreams
I get the undertow.

Full Collapse.

We were fools to think
That we could be saved.
We searched this whole world
But in it had caved.

Disappear.

You want it All.
But you got me.
All that you want.
I can not be.

Autumn Leaves.

The leaves are turning over
As I put my ear to the ground.
I watch as summer fades to fall
And I listen for grace in the sound.

Exhausted.

I'm tired of being sorry.
I'm tired of being wrong.
I'm tired of being careless.
I'm tired of shame songs.

Trap Doors.

The base on which
I'd grounded these thoughts
Was a hole in the floor
That I had not sought.

Rot.

Nothing to show for
The years I've passed by.
Worthless and wasted
And wanting to die.

War.

Fight fire with fire.
Fight water with wine.
Fight weapons with words.
Fight your heart with mine.

Tasting Iron.

Call for high tides,
And call for sun fall
Call for community
Then call for these walls.

Your walls.

So this is it,
Back to square one.
Build, destroy, repeat.
It will never be done.

Drought.

It won't rain outside
So it rains in my head
When I'm wishing for you.
I wish I was dead.

Drift, Sink, Die.

Death is not eternal sleep
But darkness in the soul.
It's like trying to find a way out
Of this bottomless hole.

Tonight Tonight.

A night tucked away
A night not retold
With blankets I hide
With words I grow old

Illusions.

I held a flower in my palm
and its thorn in my vein.
My head spins in circles.
and my body feels not pain.

Vanity.

In a life lived on knees.
No one is standing to speak.
There is nothing to live for.
And there are no gods to seek.

Father Time.

A minute, a month, a lifetime
I wish I had said what I meant.
But time knows not regret.
I can't retrace the time I've spent.

Your melody is my company.

I hear the music that sweeps
From the speakers I own.
I thank God for these notes
And for now I'm not alone.

What it’s like to be dead.

My fingers split at the seams,
From hours of futile travail.
I'll never get back these six feet.
Buried alive and destined to fail.

Character Flaws.

I tell words with these pictures.
Not with my mouth or a pen.
I see my life as a silent film.
My actions speaking to the lens.

You always were a wishful thinker.

I never said I was coming back.
I never said I'd hold off your fears.
I never said I'd stop you from sinking.
I never said I'd always hold you dear.
So fuck you, I never promised you anything.